Another random blog

Hi, today I am going to write a random blog with cool things.

Mirrors don’t break, they multiply

We will never know what the flavour of things filled with other flavours are (Pie, Cupcakes, Cake)

We can’t explain how our tongue tastes

Red would be a positive colour if we decided that it was years ago

If Canada owned Alaska, we would be a Peninsula

Words are really just jumbled letters that at some point we decided would be words

Here is some funny pictures

Fun, lizard, funny, hilarious, lol stock photo 6cb50c6b-4d4a-429e-a485-ecf715ec4053

70 Funny Dog Pictures You Need to See | Reader's Digest

Funny Dogs | Bored Panda

Funniest Cats, Dogs and More | Try Not to Laugh! (Funny Animal V - WRCBtv.com | Chattanooga News, Weather & Sports

Russian Fisherman Posts Funny And Terrifying Creatures of The Deep Sea

America's Funniest Home Videos - How To Fish | Funny Fishing Fails | Facebook

My real blog for this week is right below this one, so go check it out

 

Trevor the Kid

Trevor was a kid. He was in grade 1. Trevor got very bored very quickly and he got distracted very quickly too.

One day his family was hiking in the woods and he saw a squirrel.

“Squirrel! Squirrel! Squirrel alert!” He shouted and he ran off like a dog chasing a new scent.

He ran very quickly and then he slammed into a tree. His family was running after him but he was too fast and when he hit his head on a rock after hitting the tree, he was knocked out and he couldn’t call back to his family. The squirrel could’ve ran away but decided to stay with Trevor anyway.

“Trevor! Trevor! Where are you Trevor?!” His family called.

After a couple hours, Trevor woke up with a bump on his forehead. He luckily remembered everything, but he wasn’t paying attention when he chased the squirrel, so he didn’t know how to get out. He tried to get out but he went deeper and deeper in the woods instead. He was walking along when a bear hopped out and jumped on him, scratching his arms. The squirrel was angry with the bear from some past experiences so the squirrel growled as best as it could at the bear. Then the squirrel jumped on the bears face, giving Trevor time to get away.

Trevor ran like his life depended on it. He huffed and puffed and then slammed into a tree and knocked himself out again. The bear meanwhile was biting the squirrel and the squirrel was too hurt to keep fighting. So the bear kept walking in the general direction of Trevor and eventually found him, who was out cold on the wet grass. Trevor woke up just in time luckily and kicked the bear in the face. Then he scrambled away and almost hit another tree! Finally, Trevor got away. Remember, he was just a kid, so he was small enough that a big bald eagle swooped in and brought him to the eagles nest. Trevor saw his family looking for him from a birds eyes view! He was almost saved and he was so close to making it home. But first he had to escape the eagle. He waited for  the eagle to fly away and then called for his family. They came to him after around 20 minutes and now all Trevor had to do was get down. But unfortunately the eagle was so big that it made its nest on the tallest, biggest tree in the whole forest.

The eagle heard Trevor’s calls and came back in. Then it swooped and attacked Trevor because it though the calls could prove to be dangerous for its little babies. Trevor started falling.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” He screamed.

Then the bear came back! The bear was trying to eat Trevor but instead provided a cushion for Trevor’s fall. Trevor was okay and  got to go home. Trevor got home safely and never ran off without being careful again.

Fierce debate roars to life over grizzly bear hunt

By the way, the bear was okay too and never tried to hurt anyone again because he learned from that last time.

Thank you for reading. Here is a link to Jayden’s blog and a link to Ernest’s blog.                                     

 

Little Jimmy the goalie

Little Jimmy was a good kid. He was in grade one and he always let the other kids be goalie in soccer before him if they wanted to. Soon though, he got fed up with it because he would be playing goalie and all of the sudden a kid would walk up and push him away and say

“My turn.”

But Jimmy never got to get a full turn in soccer.

One day he told everyone that he was playing goalie and no one could push him away. They finally listened to him and he got to play. He was amazing! He made 28 saves and scored a goalie goal for a 3-0 win. Everyone wanted him to play goalie for their team. He kept on getting shutouts and he won every game. He was so amazing, by grade three, Team  Canada asked him to play on the national grade five team.

He accepted and his team won the first game 2-0. He was incredible, making 48 saves, and 12 of them being a dive face first into the ball to save the goal. His team won 5 straight games in an easy glide to the final, and they where playing the national U.S. team.

It was tied in the 87th minute. 0-0. Then, Americas star player, Grunty Gruntleton, came in on a breakaway. He faked right, and then hopped over the ball to the left. Then he did a Marodana spin and Ronaldo chopped the ball right into the net. But wait, Jimmy dived in front of the ball. Then it hammered him in the gut. He fell over and felt sick, and he was winded so badly that he almost fainted.

Grunty kicked the rebound in to the net and it was 1-0 with 5 minutes left, counting extra time. Jimmy went off on the sidelines and watched his team get pounded for 4 straight minutes, when there was a whistle. Jimmy hurt to bad to play goalie, but he was put out on striker to try and bang one in. He got a pass up the sideline and sprinted with all his might. He chipped the ball over Grunty, who was backchecking, and Jimmy was on a breakaway. He faked left, faked a shot, and then chipped it over the head of the goalie. It was in! The game was tied just as the time ran out.

The game went into overtime, but nothing was solved in both overtime halves, so it went to a shootout. Jimmy was good enough to take over for goalie in the shootout. Because Canada had won more games in the round robin at the beginning of the tournament, they got to choose who would shoot first. They chose to make the U.S. shoot first.

Grunty was the first man up. He smoked Jimmy in the face, but it didn’t go in. The medic came out and gave Jimmy some quick stitches on the field fast enough for the next shot. Canada hadn’t scored on their last shot, so it was still tied.

The Americans captain was up next. He wound up and shot a curveball that Jimmy’s fingers barely missed. Luckily, Canada scored, so it was still tied.

Jimmy got locked in and dove for the ball on the next one, and he barely reached it before it crossed the goal line. Now all Canada had to do was score. The Coach knew that Jimmy had extraordinary talents, so he sent him out to shoot.

Jimmy was confident he could make the shot. He focused on the open spots in the net. He stared down the goalie. He knew exactly where the goalie was going to go, based on the way the goalies weight was shifting. He backed up three steps, and then took a power step and a quick touch forward and kicked the ball.

Everything slowed down. The goalie jumped where Jimmy thought he was going to. He reached for the ball with his toe. The ball glided in the air towards the top left corner. It nicked the crossbar and bounced out. Jimmy saw this happen and almost cried, but then the goalie dived backwards again to catch it and knocked it in.

Jimmy and Team Canada won! They got presented with gold medals and sang “Oh Canada” as best as they could. Jimmy went down as the best goalie to ever play the sport. He grew up and played for the Champions league for Real Madrid and won many world cups.

The End

Here is a link to Jayden’s Blog

Here is a link to Ernest’s Blog.                                                                                                       

Goalkeeper Gets Hit In the Face By every Penalty kick - YouTube

Watch hilarious spoof as goalkeeper saves five penalties in a row with his FACE - Daily Record

How Olympic gold medals are made

Writers Workshop Publication #5 Frank the Swimming Monkey

 

Frank The Swimming Monkey

Frank the monkey was scavenging the trees for bananas. He saw a banana up in a tree but the tree was too smooth so he couldn’t get a foothold. As I said in the last story, he could fly, but today he left his wings at home. As he scampered around trying to find bananas that had fallen on the ground, Tim the Tiger sprung out from behind a tree and pounced on Frank. Frank had had enough. He kicked Tim’s face and breathed his banana breath on Tim. Tim had been troubling Frank ever since Frank was learning how to fly. By now, Frank knew Tim’s weakness, which was his banana breath. But he knew Tim would get over it soon, so he had to do something.

After thinking and sleeping on it, he realized that every time he got pounced on was when he was looking for food. Frank decided he should change his diet, where Tim couldn’t get to him. He always wanted to try shellfish anyway.

Frank met up with his old friend Sam the Seagull. He knew he should learn how to float before learning how to swim.

“How do you float, Sam?” Frank asked.

“You have to breath in air to inflate your lungs, and become zen.” Replied Sam, in a high pitched voice.

Frank tried, but he couldn’t do it. When monkeys get wet,their fur weighs them down and they sink. Splash, splish, blub blub blub. It was no use. After a few tries, sounded similar to his first try, he went to the old pond to try and float there, where the water wasn’t as deep.  Dan the Duck was hanging out in the cool water of the pond, so Frank took his opportunity to learn how to float.

“How do you float?” Frank asked Dan

“Easy! You just hop in the water, kick your legs, and let the water take control!”

Frank had two different ways to float now. He combined the two and hopped in. Surprisingly, it worked! He was kicking hard enough and had enough air in his lungs that he didn’t drown as quickly as usual.

“Hey! I’m doing it! I’m doing it! I’m AAHHHH” yelled Frank as he was dragged under. His fur was starting to weigh him down, but that wasn’t the reason he was sinking.

…Fred the crocodile was notorious for sneaking up on unsuspecting swimmers. He had caught Frank and pulled him down to the bottom in a matter of seconds. Frank thrashed and thrashed, but Fred was stronger. Then, Tim the tiger ran up to the pond and jumped in, swimming quickly towards Frank. He bit Frank and then let Frank hang from his mouth. This looked like the end for our poor Frank, his legs in the sharp teeth of an alligator, his arms and chest being bit by his archnemesis. It would have been the end, had not Bob the fish swam out of the murky shadows and bit Fred. Now there was only Tim to deal with. Tim thought it would be easier to finish off Frank on land, so he carried him up to the shore and dropped him down, putting his paw on Franks chest. Frank yelped after another nip from Tim, but he still fought to become free. Frank squirmed out of the pin and scampered away before Tim could catch up. Luckily, he got away with nothing other than a battle scar and a couple of bruises.

Now that Frank could somewhat float, all he had to do was learn how to swim. He met up with Bob the fish for help.

“Teach me how to swim, Bob.” Frank said

“All you have to do is hold your breath and stroke. You might need a swimsuit, though, to keep your fur dry so it doesn’t way you down.” Bob the Tuna replied. His voice was deep and he relied on his voice for guidance, because the water could get so full of algae that his eyes would be often covered.

That’s brilliant! Frank thought. He used the only material he had: banana peels. After all, he could fly with them, so why wouldn’t it work to swim with them? He started tying the peels together.

Over a couple days, the suit took form. It was finally useable. He put it on and went into the ocean. Frank followed Bob’s instruction. Hold your breath and stroke. It worked! He swam around and felt free. He accidentally didn’t leave open a space for his eyes though, and so he slammed into the ocean floor, and he felt something hard. He went up to the surface and poked eyeholes. Then he hopped back in and found what he had hit. It was the thing that he went through all the trouble of getting there for. Shellfish! Frank ate one. It tasted great! But then Tim and Fred showed up. Fred swam through a small stream that connected to the ocean, and Tim sat on the shore, waiting for the perfect moment. As Tim slunk towards Frank, Fred made the first move. He made a quick movement and snapped his jaws at Frank. Frank narrowly swam away. Then he swam up to the surface, not realizing Tim was there. Right before Tim pounced on Frank, Frank showed him the shellfish in his hand.

“Wait! You have to try this shellfish! It’s great!”

Tim and Fred paused and looked at each other. Tim hesitantly reached his paw for the food, but Fred instantly snapped his jaws at the shiny shell.

And Frank was right. It was great. In fact, so great that Tim and Fred hugged Frank.

“This is the best food I ever had!” Exclaimed Tim.

“Way better than duck and monkey!” Added Fred.

Frank realized the only reason Tim and Fred tried to eat Frank was because they needed food. Now that Frank could swim, he could get them all food. No one ever tried to eat Frank again. He swam all day every day, eating shellfish, and every once in a while, crab.

And that is the story of Frank, the Swimming Monkey.

If A Monkey Takes A Photo, Who Owns The Copyright? : The Two-Way : NPR

Fantasy Hockey Leagues

Hi, today I am going to be blogging about Fantasy Hockey Leagues.

I  have a league but it only has four people in it so I am hoping to get more people next year but I am learning a lot about leagues so I will share some tips and how to make a leauge. I do it all on ESPN fantasy so if you do it on something like Fantrax then not everything will sound familiar but it is still more or less the same thing.

Setting up the scoring: You can do this however you want, but most leagues follow the same scoring of having goals be worth 2 or 3 points, having assists be worth 1, shots be worth 0.5 to 0.1, and power play points be worth 1 or two extra.  You can also make defenseman points be worth points, so if you have goals worth three and assists worth 1, then set your defensemen points at 2 because that will even it out, making a goal for defenseman be worth 5 and an assist be worth 3. Goalies can be marked on points too, and the best way to set it up is around 2-3 points for a win, -1 to -2 points for a loss, and 0.1-0.2 for a save.

Drafting  In the draft you will want to start the first two rounds by drafting 2 forwards, and the next two rounds drafting top scoring defenseman, and the next two rounds drafting good goalies. You might want to get a really good goalie early but goalies go through rough patches and so having average to a bit better then average goalies will be just as good as elite goalies. You will get more points by drafting a top scoring forward or top scoring defense in the first 4 rounds then a goalie anyway. Once you have 2 forwards, 2 defense, and 2 goalies, draft the best players available, keeping in mind that you will need around 8 defense and 8 forwards at the end. Always have a list ready for who you want to take. If there is a really good player left in the 7th+ round, you can ignore drafting goalies for one round and take him instead, because there is going to be someone taking him the next round anyway probably, so you might as well take him while he is available.

Throughout the Season During the season, constantly check the free agents and waivers and see who is available. If you have a guy going hot for a while, unless he is someone expected to do that like McDavid, trade him away for another player who you is playing average or a bit above average. Guys like James Van Reimsdyk have done well early this year but they were not expected to do that well so you can either overprice him now or ride him until his streak starts to decline and quickly get rid of him. Look at the players average fantasy points per game. If their average is high, unless they have a small amount of games, pick them up and drop your players who are not doing that well. Don’t drop players who are doing bad until one month of the season  has passed though, because everyone always goes through rough patches. The biggest part of Fantasy Hockey is predicting the streaks.

Image result for espn fantasy logo | Espn fantasy, Espn fantasy football,  Fantasy football app

That is the end of my blog for the week. Thank you for reading. Here is a link to Jayden’s blog and here is a link to Ernest’s blog.                                                           

Here is a link to the NHL website